Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
