nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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