I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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