Whod you bang
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
