u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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