By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
