When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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