Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
