Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
