I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
