They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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