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  • Submitted by TheRuleBook on Aug 29, 10 at 10:09am

    Wacks on, wacks off.

  • 84 51
    Submitted by CheezeDetector on Aug 29, 10 at 11:48am

    Fortune cookie said: "Confusious say, you think wank good, but you just fucking yourself"

  • 79 68
    Submitted by missinsanity on Aug 29, 10 at 10:26am

    Hopefully both these events occurred at home and not in the restaurant...

  • 70 59
    Submitted by JenForReals on Aug 29, 10 at 12:20pm

    Do Chinese ppl have small penises?

  • 66 56
    Submitted by blamblam on Aug 29, 10 at 10:26am

    Wait. Someone else was doing that in Miami last night. I thought I had to be the only one.

  • 59 51
    Submitted by medic52 on Aug 29, 10 at 11:44am

    who ordered the cream of sumyungi??

  • 60 54
    Submitted by damn_gurl on Aug 29, 10 at 10:01am

    I bet wanton was on the order..

  • 55 49
    Submitted by evolwayz on Aug 29, 10 at 3:38pm

    Don't the chopsticks leave splinters?

  • 54 49
    Submitted by giantone on Aug 29, 10 at 5:14pm

    I sure as he'll did the masturbating part, every night in fact with different food

  • 54 53
    Submitted by ouzo1000 on Aug 31, 10 at 11:24pm

    Nothing like a spinner on saturday night to cap things off.

  • 48 46
    Submitted by cheesewhiz on Aug 29, 10 at 9:54am

    Indeed

  • 50 52
    Submitted by ThatCoolKid on Aug 29, 10 at 11:24am

    The chinese and their magic...now that they cant find their penises they must control others...

  • 49 52
    Submitted by 4N0N on Aug 29, 10 at 11:38am

    Hahaha that's some funny shit

  • 50 54
    Submitted by mjo on Aug 29, 10 at 10:55am

    10.26 wins. I pictured sender beating off into the egg drop soup on the Chinese buffet.

  • 54 62
    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 29, 10 at 9:55am

    I did the masturbating part

  • 49 53
    Submitted by Taki on Aug 30, 10 at 3:10am

    Sunday must be KFC and going lefty. Variety is good.

  • 47 52
    Submitted by vientiane007 on Aug 30, 10 at 12:31am

    You should have paid the extra 20 bucks for the happy ending ass whole

  • 50 58
    Submitted by regalbeagle on Aug 29, 10 at 10:04am

    Hello Summer.

  • 53 66
    Submitted by stefanivitelli on Sep 3, 10 at 1:59pm

    You're my new best friend.

  • 47 57
    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 30, 10 at 3:48pm

    Ass whole lol

  • 47 63
    Submitted by PercivalJenkins on Aug 29, 10 at 12:26pm

    Fail.

  • 50 73
    Submitted by Clint1989 on Aug 31, 10 at 8:36pm

    Who the hell would you text this to?

  • 40 54
    Submitted by kaelan on Dec 14, 10 at 12:46pm

    Wtf yo

  • 39 54
    Submitted by BigBoy13 on Feb 15, 11 at 4:49pm

    Confucius Say: A penis has a hole in the end so men can be open minded.

  • 32 47
    Submitted by BigBoy13 on Feb 15, 11 at 4:47pm

    This shit screams you need a life.