I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
