I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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