I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
