I love having hate sex.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
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