8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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