hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
