My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
