I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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