I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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