My room smells like vodka and shame
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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