There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
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I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
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I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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