If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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