A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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