I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i dont even know how to be here
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
