4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
