Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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