Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
