Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
