The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
i am craving dick and cupcakes
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
