Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
