let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
