THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
