Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
