so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
