He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
