just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I'm bleeding and have questions
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
