coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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