East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
