I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
