No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
