Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I have already put on my inside pants.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
