that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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