talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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