Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Randomize
