they need to just BURY HIM!
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
