i think my mom watched the whole time
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
