Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
