everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
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