My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
