Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
