Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize