So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
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