I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
