I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
The air was thick with penises
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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