you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Well I just put wine in my tea
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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