Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
