just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
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