..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
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It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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