Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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