I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
