OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
