I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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