We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
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If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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